I Am Clueless

I do not know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

There I said it. I may be the only on who is like this, but I don’t think I can be. Am I really the only person my age who doesn’t have any plans for the immediate or distant future? According to Facebook I am. It appears that I am the only person with out a steady job or internship, therefore I must be the only person who does not know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

That dosen’t make sense because I went to a four year university and earned a Bachlor of Arts in Media Communications where I specifically studied films. So I should want to go into the film industry, but I don’t know where! Or maybe I am already burnt out on my career of choice and want to do something else for a change. But what?!

I don’t know; I don’t know; I don’t know. I have no clue what my next step is or when I am supposed to take it. I don’t know what job I am going to have or where I am going to live for the rest of my life. I don’t know if I am going to have the same career as my major or if it will be something completely different. Sometimes I want to give up because I just don’t know.

But what I do know is that God creates good for those who love Him and lives according to His will for their entire lives. Sometimes that means not knowing what is coming up next, and I don’t like that, but if God is in control of my life then I guess it’s ok for me not to know everything. He has a plan, He loves me, and I trust Him. Somedays are going to be good ones, and others are going to knock me down; lately it’s been the latter. But I’m not giving up, even if I am the only one among my peers without a clue.

Not My Plans

I’m at a time in my life where I am expected to have a plan for my future. I have already begun to brace myself for the same four questions that people will start asking me until I graduate from college.

    What will you do after you graduate?

    What do you want to do with your major?

    Where do you want to go? 

    Do you know what you want to do next?

While I do have a basic idea of what I want to do, my plans for getting there are already being foiled.

The things I think I need to do in order to prepare for life after college don’t work out. I haven’t even begun to learn the skills I want to achieve. What’s my five-year plan once May 2014 hits? I honestly don’t know. If I stand still and look out upon my life I realize there are several directions I could go right now, all of them different.

But I am learning one thing: my plans are not His plans.

I can do my best to prepare myself for what I think the future may hold, but it will probably be completely different from what I imagine.  I’m learning that sometimes that might be for the best.

So, I can lie awake at night and beat myself up over the fact that life is not going the way I planned, or realize His plans are bigger than mine, and a whole lot better.