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Home is where the heart is.

The longer I have been away, the more truth I see in that statement. It’s one I’ve heard all my life, but never really understood. Home has always been where my family is, here in Northern Virginia. I have been blessed with parents who love me and sacrificed a lot for me. My brother drives me up a wall, but we’re family and I wouldn’t change it (except, perhaps, for fewer Facebook hacks. 😉 ) My extended family care about me and we always have fun we we’re together. At school people would ask me what I was looking forward to the most this Holiday break. I told them, “I’m looking forward to spending time with my family.” The longer I am away from them, the more important and valuable they are to me.

But my heart isn’t just in Northern Virginia; it’s also in Wilmore, Kentucky. This was a rough semester, to put it gently, but through it all I had friends surround me and encourage me. They made me laugh when I took myself to seriously, and looked after me when I was sick. I can’t fathom why I am so blessed to have such godly, funny, crazy, creative friends–but I do have them. I miss going to Miller and seeing them all hanging out in the Computer Lab or editing a project in an edit suite. I miss going to CPO and then doing a Student Center Walk-Through to say hi to my friends at the campus coffee shop. I miss coming back to my apartment and laughing with my roommates until my sides hurt. I will see them again in about a month, but I still miss them.

I have two homes, which means my heart is in two places. How can that be? I don’t know.

You though I’d have some deep, thoughtful answer to that, didn’t you? Haha! Well, I don’t! I just know that Asburians have claimed my heart and made Wilmore a new home for me. I didn’t think it was going to happen, but it did. I wouldn’t want it any other way. 🙂

 

Had my own Five Minute Friday today since I miss writing and wanted to ease back into it. Enjoy!

A Third Wheel

Everyone knows the feeling when you’re with two other people who know each other so well that everything they say is an inside joke with one another, leaving you (intentionally or not) on the outside. From couples to a group of people who are best friends, we’ve all been there.

There have been a lot of times in my life where I feel like the third wheel.

While I don’t like believing people want to put me in that situation, it happens, and sometimes more often than I care to admit. I always leave wondering why I let myself into those situations, why didn’t I leave sooner? Typically the answer is, “They don’t really mean it; they’re my friends. They wouldn’t knowingly do that do me…. right?”

Unfortunately, I’ve been on the other side too. I’ve been in places where I make inside jokes around people who don’t know them, and then avoid giving an explanation. Usually it’s because I’m tired, or the story behind the joke is too long to explain, or I just don’t feel like it. I hate myself for it every single time.

That’s why I always make the effort to include the people around me, and make sure they know they are welcome in the group. Cliques bother me, there’s something not natural about them. They’re like a slap in the face; you think you’re welcome and then through people’s mannerisms you realize you’re not. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s something we do anyways. I even don’t like the term “best friend” because it sounds so exclusive, like no one else can be there for me ever in my entire life, so don’t even try. To me, the term “best friend” can be substituted for “closest friend,” because it’s a more honest representation.

I have two rules for myself: 1) If I don’t want to explain an inside joke, I don’t say it. 2) If I’m with a group of friends, and a close friend is there too, I will not focus only on my closest friend and shut the others out. I will include them in the conversation no matter what.

Those rules sound like no brainers, but sometimes I forget them. Sometimes I’m not in the mood to obey, which is wrong and I’m sorry for breaking them. However, I always remember the feeling of being on the outside, of wanting to be included and get to know the people I’m with and never given the chance to be a friend. That makes me want to make a friend and let them know someone is interested in their life, even if it’s for one conversation.

In my own life, I am beginning to realize that I do not have to be a third wheel. I do not have to put myself into situations where I feel left out and alone. I am important. I don’t have to live in “Third-Wheel Land” anymore. Yes, it will be hard but I know it is worth it.

So to the people who think they’re a third wheel, find me and tell me. I will be your friend.