Fighting for My Dream

A dream is easy to have when things are going your way. It’s in the moments when nothing seems to be working out that we are faced with the question of, “How badly do I want this dream to come true?” We can say that it wasn’t what it was all cracked up to be, that we want a new dream instead. There’s nothing wrong with changing our minds, if that is what we really want. Or we can stick it out and fight for it.

For the first time, I have to fight for the life I want to have. I’m lucky because I had an easy upbringing; my parents loved me, I had everything a child needs to succeed and then some. But now, now that the protection of schooling is over I have to make a choice that will affect the rest of my life. It’s up to me to provide for myself; no more hand holding.
I have to fight for the life I want to life. I want to live out God’s will for my life, true, but that does not mean I can lounge around the house, surf the net and watch Netflix to my heat’s content as I “wait”¬†for God to show up and tell me what to do. I have to leave the house and actively look for ways to achieve my dream, because it’s not going to show up on the latest Netflix show I’m watching. The only way to know what doors are open is to try and go through them, instead of waiting for a feeling to tell me what to do, because more often than not that “feeling” tells me, “Just one more episode. You can try that door later, after you get a snack.”
Adventuring Note: This was written at the end of this past summer when I began to doubt myself. I began to wonder if I had picked the right career or if it was simply a college pipe dream. About two weeks later, a door was opened in the industry I dared believe I could join, and I excitedly and nervously walked through it.

I Am Clueless

I do not know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

There I said it. I may be the only on who is like this, but I don’t think I can be. Am I really the only person my age who doesn’t have any plans for the immediate or distant future? According to Facebook I am. It appears that I am the only person with out a steady job or internship, therefore I must be the only person who does not know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

That dosen’t make sense because I went to a four year university and earned a Bachlor of Arts in Media Communications where I specifically studied films. So I should want to go into the film industry, but I don’t know where! Or maybe I am already burnt out on my career of choice and want to do something else for a change. But what?!

I don’t know; I don’t know; I don’t know. I have no clue what my next step is or when I am supposed to take it. I don’t know what job I am going to have or where I am going to live for the rest of my life. I don’t know if I am going to have the same career as my major or if it will be something completely different. Sometimes I want to give up because I just don’t know.

But what I do know is that God creates good for those who love Him and lives according to His will for their entire lives. Sometimes that means not knowing what is coming up next, and I don’t like that, but if God is in control of my life then I guess it’s ok for me not to know everything. He has a plan, He loves me, and I trust Him. Somedays are going to be good ones, and others are going to knock me down; lately it’s been the latter. But I’m not giving up, even if I am the only one among my peers without a clue.